Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Beggibeggi

We all can learn a lesson or two from kids.
A Naija kid takes us down memory lane. Do extract the vital lesson.
"You remember all dose beggibeggi uncus dat don't use to buy sometin for somebody when dey come to visit us. Mscheww!! Everytime, everytime dat is how dey'll come an finish d food in your house...you know now.. Den dose beggibeggi friens in sku. When you are licking sweet dat is how deir eyes will come an gum  to your sweet sef. Mscheww! Rubbish! It is beggibeggi people dat gbomogbomo use to catch o!I yam de one dat sent dem to beg? Ehn?! I yam de one? (S'posedly "Am I the one?")
My mummy said dat it is not good to be begging. And dat we shood work hard an be satisfied wit what we have. Don't be a beggibeggi."
A lesson from a Naija kid (lol!). Begging has become the first and in certain cases, final resort for many people. Maintaining a consumer disposition, these ones have ruled out their capacity to make meaningful and productive contribution to society. Harsh seasons would come but, try as much as possible not to take the beggarly route; rather, put pressure on your productive faculties. Shun begging both as a character flaw and a lifestyle. Naija children don't like "beggibeggi".  They too dey minister.
For tips on how to raise the bar on your personal productivity, watch this space:
http://blueskyz-nextlevel.blogspot.com

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Whose Naija?


Can Nigeria ever change? I hear the hopelessness in conversations as highly incensed groups at the newspaper stands, on the street corners, in buses, boardrooms, breakfast rooms, at workshops and conferences articulately analyse and dissect multiple reasons why progressive change is impossible. On this matter everyone is an expert. Everybody can be the critic but, who’d bear the responsibility of transformation?
The truth of the matter is that Nigeria cries for burden bearers. The simple statement, “My country” connotes ownership, and hence, responsibility. I’d take care of my room, my home, my street??!! Eerrr!! My city? Eerrrrrrrrrr!! My country?????!!!!!  Wetin?!!
Countries are not simply geographical locations, they are people. Therefore, the anomalies experienced in Naija are attributed to its citizens. Unfortunately, quite a number of us have resigned from our citizenship. No one wants to bell the cat. It is everyman for himself and God for us all. My Ekpomsky friends would say, “Abegi! Leave matter for Mathias. Abi na only me kill Jesus?!!”
Yes! Na only you kill Jesus!! It is one man who litters the streets with refuse. Then another and another… till our drainages are clogged by them. A man may labour to bring down a wall with several hits to it with a sledge hammer and initially, not see the effects of his actions. But, with persistence he soon sees a crack, and one more.., then another hit, and the wall comes crashing down. That’s the power of unrelenting pressure on any facility. So, you throw your refuse in the gutter, (Gbam!!) one hit! Someone channels her kitchen drainage to the gutter, (Gbam!!) another hit!! Another tosses a pure water sachet in, (Gbam!!!) a crack in the wall!!! And it comes tumbling down; as we create smelly, flooded streets and eroded roads…then, blame the government. So, the cycle goes on in every sector and industry. Remember, we all experience the negatives and positives as a nation. There is a government of the people. So, let’s all play our part. It is your Naija and mine. We no fit leave matter for Mathias. Abeg this one na our ministry!!

Attitude is NOT everything


Aka, Poto and Passdem are 3 uneducated drycleaners. They use the crudest and most strenuous methods to run their business, and I believe more clothes are destroyed than put in a better shape by their drycleaning service. However, they have one of the best attitudes to work than I have seen in the corporate environment. They gist and exchange lively banter while they execute their tasks. Poto’s scattered dentition is revealed several times, blushing as he is ridiculed about being a ladies’ man. (Poto is a modern day Mandinga warrior). Aka is the quiet one. He is one of those individuals that always look busy. His face is set in a serious mode as he brushes hard at some shirts (and I wonder that people actually bring them their clothes). Passdem, the “know it all” and leader of the pack, keeps them in high spirits singing songs and supplying gist. And that really is the attraction to this team, their spirit. They are quick and forceful about their business, they are happy in their “not so delightful state”. They seem to be content with their situation. But, is that enough?
As I watch them, I get an understanding of why zeal without knowledge is not good. They seem not to know that there are better methods of doing things. I watch as they empty different bundles of clothing into one basin of water..and as the water absorbs the filth, I know it should be changed. However, that’s all the water allotted to that bundle. As they rinse, I know the clothes are still dirty. Aka, Poto and Passdem don’t know about applying technology to business. Try to teach Passdem, and he gives you a blank stare, as if a glass lid were placed over his understanding. Hmm! This is a constraint to his productivity, and at this point, I truly value my education. I understand why they lose customers so quickly. Attitude is not everything. Knowledge and skill provide the balance.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Servants and Guests

      
I once heard someone say, "In a household, servants have keys to certain doors guests don't have access to." It is a profound truth. A couple of people come to the workplace with a "guest mentality" - too full of themselves to get off their high horse, they suffer some form of indigestion .. chuckle@#.. and the cure to that is to eat humble pie!
They never really get the best out of the work environment in terms of referrals, experience, promotion and necessary skill sets. They feel they are to be served; ever complaining about salaries, working conditions and what hasn't been done for them. Sad thing is, these types don't last.

Servants however, know that they are there to make things work - to add value in some way to something or someone.
Servants are there to make contribution. Guests have an entitlement mentality.
Servants are there to cause profit to occur. Guests incur cost.
Servants host. Guests are to be hosted.
Servants are part of the household. A guest's days are numbered in a household.

You can choose how you'd approach work today - as a servant or a guest!! Have a productive week.

Friday, 7 February 2014

This CMS – Iyanoba Bus!!!



I believe that 9 out of every 10 families living in Lagos, has one person that commutes to Lagos Island daily. Traders, artisans, agberos (uniformed motor park touts), food and newspaper vendors wake up each morning with one destination in mind…… CMS bus-stop.  Quite a number of these fellows flock from the Iyanoba – Okoko axis. And commuting to and fro on this route could be quite an experience.  Ever boarded these Iyanoba bound buses from CMS bus stop? The pot-pourri of characters makes the trip quite an experience. Certain things characterise the journey;
An Uncomfortable Wait for The Bus to Fill Up: The bus itself tells a story of poor transportation standards in the country as each row is filled with 5 passengers on a 4-seater row. This activity takes quite a while as tired commuters slowly board the bus amidst complaints about the inconvenient tightness and the stench of urine that characterizes the park. Various beggars solicit for alms with much prayer and supplication, while gala and soft drink sellers dart around the windows to sell their wares to a ready market.
A Headache: As tired, sweaty bodies, bunch up together in legendary and creative postures to accommodate each other in preparation for the ride home, a local “motivational” speaker is certain to rise up to sell a herbal product, cosmetic or sermon. Prayers and crude jokes serve as ice-breakers preceding the body of the speech. The promotions vary as you are likely to hear about drugs or supplements that improve men’s sexual performance, cure fibroid, diabetes, mouth odour, body pains and high blood sugar levels. They are a sure companion on this Israelite journey. Amazingly, they almost always have a ready audience who patronise their products, laugh and sing along as the situation dictates. The more sophisticated professionals pout, stare out the window or finally doze off in fits and starts.
Traffic, Dust and Tears: The first hurdle to be crossed is the traffic on the bridge, then Orile – Mile 2 must be conquered. As the bus valiantly trudges on, overcoming its many adversaries on the way, it is likely that the drone of the bus engines delivers a unique sound to reassure commuters that they are still homeward bound. Board this bus on a rainy day, and you eat the bread of sorrows. Leaky roofs and rusty floors, paneless windows and rickety doors let in the rascally mud and rain.  
Despite this inconvenience the Nigerian spirit prevails. The ability to adapt, smile amidst the routine suffering and face what each day brings. We take things in our stride, where others would have died (from obvious reasons), we hustle and bustle where others would give up in that struggle. I hail the passengers on the CMS – Iyanoba bus route; and believe the regulatory authorities can do better. However, through it all, once again, a lesson is learned. Whatever the situation we dey rustle up daily bread. Abeg no vex, Naija ministers! 

Thursday, 6 February 2014

All these big, big words: Igbo traders are interrigent



When the Igbo trader speaks you may laugh at him, after all you are all polished and educated. Until you see his bank statement then you’d know “you just cut ya nose to spite ya face” (lol!!!). Those guys are interrigent o! No matter how dull and difficult some of their conversations and social skills may be beside your cultured, intellectual self, their grasp of industry shows they’ve got something upstairs that all your fancy certifications, complicated analysis and business models have not yielded you. What is this magic apprenticeship model they got working for them? Sometimes we doubt the efficacy of all our education to put food on the table or make fundamental impact when finally these guys hire you for peanuts or become your employers while they cart in good money. A trip to Aspamda market would wow you. Alaba nko? Oho!! Balogun market kwanu? Gbam!! Apapa/Wharf? Sontinelse!
As the majority of graduates search for jobs without a clue about enterprise or a skill to set up shop somewhere, they hungrily wonder whether all these years learning positioned them on top or put them under. We must underscore the virtues of apprenticeship early. Learning by doing from established and successful business models; not abstract book knowledge jo!
These Igbo people can be found on the North pole successfully selling ice to the Eskimos. Abeg shine ya eye. Learn a thing or two hundred from them cos Naija people dey minister o!

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Original BB



Bread and Beans, Lagos is incomplete without it; as even toddlers are oriented about it. Sooner than later, they know about Agege bread and Agonyi beans. You even see them stand outside their houses listening for the voice of the Agege bread seller. Soon the little chumps call the hawkers with or without their mothers’ consent, “Agege byead!!”  Ahahn! Wetin they put inside?
 I don’t know the secret formula. Cocacola must have learned a thing or two hundred about keeping the formula the same because numerous Lagosians can testify to a promise kept and value delivered as they tear great chunks of Agege bread and swipe some beans off the plate. The art is made more interesting as a hole is scientifically created in the middle of the bread, then a syrupy spoon of beans is poured down the hole and the soft bread absorbs the “red oyel”. Chei!!

Bread and Bean cakes (akara), have served Nigerians since the 1600s. The Economist would tell you that bread and akara are complementary goods - (A bit of insight for Eco 101 students). Lol!! Obalende in Lagos is a popular hot spot for these akara sellers. This time, even well dressed professionals stop to buy a ready breakfast from these boys. The light brown balls simmering in hot oil send wafts of temptation up the nostrils of passers-by. The dust and fumes from the nearby traffic perhaps add a distinctive flavour that makes the roadside purchase more alluring than the homemade meal. This is one original BB.

Bread and Butter, this one is universal and loved by Nigerians everywhere. It serves as a quick breakfast to start off the day. It goes with tea, beverage or a soft drink.
Before the Blackberry was a BB, these original BBs existed in Naija. Naija folks have their own unique and creative ways of doing things. Even our culture ministers!!